My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
