She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
