There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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