and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
