I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
