thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You have to summon your inner elephant
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
