if you like me you must not know who I am
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Randomize
