You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
