I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
