apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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