oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
