I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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