You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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