He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
