My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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