just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
