just tell him i said nine months
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
