3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
