I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
