I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The air taste purple.
Randomize
