He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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