hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
