I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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