I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
