did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
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dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
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You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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