her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
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the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
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just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just want to make out with him forever
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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