I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
