i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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