I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
