I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
