I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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