did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
