I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
