I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
