i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
