Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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