I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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