glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
