I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I deserve this hangover.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
