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that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
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