I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's not a walk of shame if you run