i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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