i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
