You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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