Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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