So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Randomize
