She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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