Just fell off a train. Bad.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
