That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
It's just like the Real World with babies
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
