Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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