im holly from the hills drunk
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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