Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
