What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
