he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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