He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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