i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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