I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
