Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Randomize
