imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
