you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
